Ezra Mannix

"The Deal" episode

There is a classic Seinfeld episode where Jerry, not knowing what to get Elaine for her birthday, gives her cash.

Elaine: Cash?

Jerry: What do you think?

Elaine: You got me cash?

Jerry: Well this way I figure you can go out and get yourself whatever you want. No good?

Elaine: Who are you, my uncle?

Jerry: Well come on. That’s $182 right there. I don’t think that’s anything to sneeze at.

Elaine is furious. But I tend to side with Jerry — and so does Turkish wedding tradition. And at about 125 TL ($79) for a “ceyrek altin” at today’s exchange prices, that’s nothing to sneeze at if you are going to many weddings (I only went to two this season).

Indeed, gold coins are the main expected wedding gift in Turkey — hands down — or a large cash note if gold can’t be acquired.

I think it saves a lot of hassle, and ultimately yes, through the God-given decision making powers we process, we can skip the registry and get EXACTLY the kind of blender we want. Or perhaps it has something to do with the hospitality-oriented culture that the couple has to buy what they want without the benefit of a registry, and the guests have it easy.

"Solid Gold, baby"

On wedding day, after the nikah (wedding ceremony) the bride and groom stand like the Obamas hosting a state visit and friends and relatives come by in a procession – often quite long – to pin small gold coins on to the bride and groom. These coins are emblazoned with Ataturk on the good luck side and an Ottoman seal in Arabic script on the other. If a gold coin cannot be had, a 100 TL or euro note is perfectly acceptable substitute.

Afterwards, the couple is able to exchange their haul for common cash at one of the many kuyumculuks (jewelers) dotting the central areas of town, which often post set daily gold prices on digital displays, just as currency rates are. The stores’ buying price at last check was 123.03 TL ($77).

According to one student who married recently, despite the lofty price of gold these days, it often doesn’t offset the cost of the wedding, which can be lavish and long running affairs, but which vary greatly depending on the regional identity and level of traditionalism in the family.

The ones I went to were Western by comparison, one taking place at the lapping shores of the Bosphorus under the Fatih Sultan Mehmet Bridge, the other in the verdant greenery of Turkey’s finest urban park: Kültür Park in the city of Bursa (once the capital of the Ottoman empire and bearing a striking resemblance to northern California/southern Oregon in its flora and climate).  After the nikah, the party heads over to the düğün (reception) to whoop it up. There, older relatives – covered ladies and mustachioed gentlemen – nod their heads to the beat as the kids bounce to club music, Madonna, Brian Adams and what have you. This is something I love about Turkey, this cultural melding of old and new, and Turks are quite adept at balancing the two. Whether Turkey is “Islam Light” as seen by many in the Arab world, or conservative – this harmony of the generations is a time when I have never felt more proud to be living here.

( here are current gold prices in Turkey)