I have been getting asked this question a lot lately. “So…how long are you going to stay in Istanbul?” This is a totally fair question and conversation starter, and perhaps I struggle a little with the fact that I really am not sure how long I am going to stay here. It’s nice to have a canned, rehearsed answer for people. “I will be here for x amount of time, at which point I will do y, z and settle in r.” Bump. Set. Spike.
But what if your five year plan is not to really have a “plan” in the conventionally accepted sense of the word? What if you have gone through your professional and academic life and what you have done so far has not been intriguing enough to pull you in and invest many prime years?
So I guess you can say my five year plan (right now, hehe) is the following: travel, have new experiences, meet new people, hopefully find new passions, read and become a more well rounded person,keep up a blog (haha), exercise, eat well, take vitamins, enjoy natural surroundings, be nice to people, read and study a language (in this case Turkish).
Actually, the latter point reminds me of something else: I am at a double crossroads, if you will. I also ask, should I invest more time, and resources into my knowledge of the Turkish culture and language and getting an advanced degree here. This is certainly an avenue: become a Turkophile. Or am I better off bouncing from one country to the next and getting a holistic world view.
So its fewer places but a deeper experience, or more varied but shallower experiences. Well, when said like that, what is shallow and what is deep? You can live somewhere for years and fuck around, or you can travel to different countries, write about them, immerse yourself in them, garner opportunities. You can also mess around going country to country, party and meet lots of people and have single-serving relationships while sacrificing truly knowing a culture for personal and/or professional gain.
So I raise my glass like an Istanbullu at a meyhane, or traditional pub. Before me is a bunch of mezes, Turkish version of tapas, each different and delicious, each a metaphor for the things I’ve tried in my life, and things I have yet to try. So… What’s going to be my daily staple? Do I even need one? Am I lucky to even have this problem?
I invite your questions, ideas and thoughts…
I appreciate this post a lot, and am impressed by your soul searching. Higher education is a good idea, but I think the focus should be more on the WHAT, which leads you to WHERE. For now, the WHERE has been pulling you, and maybe that is enough until the WHAT finds you. Anyway, keep asking and seeking.
xo
Yes, its a question. But as you suggest (or at least what I am reading into it) the question of breadth vs. depth is in a sense a false one because when you rotate the picture 90 degrees they change places.
Hi Ezra,
I stumbled on your blog and just wanted to say hello and how much I envy your life in Istanbul.(I was there earlier this summer and am scheming to go back and find work.) I’m also a writer, but more in the software development department.
Living there IS like constantly being in a dream, and it’s hard to describe to people back home. I too read Pamuk’s memoir before arriving and will check out your other recommendation.
You are quite a bit younger than me, I believe, but based on what you write about your life in Turkey, it sounds like you have found a lot of happiness there and that you “fit in.” For the time being, maybe just listen to your heart, study the language, and travel if you can afford it. I’m sure you’re aware that jobs are very hard to come by in the States right now, so if you are managing ok financially, keep exploring. And…grad school sounds like a good idea too…eventually. Best of luck! And you write very well!
Hi Nadia,
Thanks so much for stumbling upon and reading my blog. I am glad you like it. Very sage advice indeed. I am going to stay here through June it looks like. If you do manage to come back, please don’t hesitate to contact me for a cup of cay or a walk around this big beast of a bul.